The Thin-Skinned Fat Man Strikes Back

by Michael Bird

A couple of weeks ago, the Tribune ran a column I wrote, discussing what I found to be a cynical worldview in many of today’s popular television shows.

Montgomery’s daily newspaper picks up occasional columns from this space, and selected that one for publication in last Sunday’s edition.

A writer – or in this case, a band director – has to learn not to be thin-skinned under such circumstances, particularly when one’s work is published in such a visible location. Everyone has an opinion, and people are often more critical in the anonymity of online postings than they would ever be in person.

Underneath the online version of the article, several people made remarks, but one admonishment hit home. The reader asked how I could get published when it was really just a weblog post. “Send this guy to eBlogger,” the poster commented.

I wanted to respond that the newspaper saw fit to run the column, without any provocation from me, but I declined to comment.

Nobody’s in the business of trying to please everyone, because it is a virtually impossible task. However, I am reminded of the time three years ago when this newspaper printed a retraction of some of the comments I’d made in an article.

John Waters, the quirky auteur who directed the original film, “Hairspray,” had been around long enough to see a tribute of sorts – a Broadway musical version of his movie. This musical version was made into a movie in 2007. My wife and I went to the movie theater to enjoy the show.

With the notable exception of Christopher Walken, three of the main characters in the film were played by overweight actors: Nikki Blonsky, Queen Latifah, and John Travolta (in a fat suit). Nothing was ever really said about the size issue; in fact, the story had little to do with the rotund appearance of these characters.

As someone who maxed out the Body Mass Index chart in elementary school, I allowed myself to be victimized about appearance while growing up. Those middle school years, in particular, were agonizing because I lacked confidence in myself to make it through the days.

What I admired about the film was that weight was never an issue – these characters sang, danced, hugged, and kissed just like regular skinny folks.

So, the title of the column three summers ago was “Fat is the New Thin”. It was a tongue-in-cheek reference to the fashionistas who make catwalk pronouncements such as, “black is the new orange,” or whatever.

I thought it was pretty funny. But just as the anonymous poster punctured an egocentric bubble last weekend, I received letters and e-mails that raked me over the coals for making light of such a weighty subject. One concerned reader even said I should be ashamed of myself for promoting poor cardiovascular health.

And so, the next week, I wrote a sensitive retraction that attempted to undo any damage. Proverbs 17:27-28 states, "he who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit. Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive."

It wasn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last, but it’s a lesson I am still trying desperately to learn.

Michael Bird is a band director for Tallassee City Schools.

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